8 Reasons Why “Reasons Why” Articles are Stupid

1. They take advantage of your weak spots. These trendy “Reasons Why” Articles are flashy and attractive. They’re designed to grab you at your lowest—like airport novels, gentlemen’s clubs, and fun-size candy bars. 11 Reasons Why I’m Not Living up To My Potential? Here’s one: you clicked on that link to find out the answer.

3. STATISTICS. Did you know that 87% of statistics are made up on the spot?

4. Pictures. This crayon-scribbled coloring book page by my two-year-old is more interesting (maybe) and more relevant (definitely) than most pictures shown in the average “Reasons Why” article. Again, this is designed to pull you in.

5. Didn’t you learn anything in school? Whatever happened to the three paragraph essay? How about five? And come on, haven’t you ever heard of a thesis paper? Every time I see one of these articles, I just know that one really tough English teacher I had in high school is rolling over in her grave.

6. Mob Mentality. I never thought this thing before, but now that I read these 8 bullet points, and I see that all my friends read the same 8 bullet points and liked them, it must be true! Turns out I DO need to buy that Costco membership! (Despite the fact that there isn't one anywhere near me!)

7. They’re basically never true. If something so controversial were so simple that it could be explained by way of a few bullet points, don’t you think someone would have thought of that sooner?

8. They’re usually really, really, really, stupid. I mean, really.